Part one in a series of lessons God taught Brother Andrew.
“I hung back. I seemed to have so many points against me. I didn’t have the learning, and, hide it though I might from others, I had a crippled ankle. How could I expect to be a missionary if I couldn’t even walk a city block without pain?”
Andrew knew God was calling him to be a missionary, but he didn’t see how he could obey. The traditional route required him to get ordained as a minister and before he could begin he’d have to make up the schooling that he’d missed during the war. Altogether it would be twelve years of study. If that wasn’t ridiculous enough, he had to take the accompanying expense into account as well.
A friend told him of an alternate route, an English organisation called the Worldwide Evangelization Crusade. They trained men to be missionaries and didn’t require a degree. But this too had a catch – at the end of the two-year program they sent their students out without financial support. Andrew didn’t know how he felt about begging from churches as he went along.
On top of it all there was his ankle – a war injury which had never properly healed.
Praying It Through
“I began to ask myself if I really intend to be a missionary – or if it was only a romantic dream with which I indulged myself?
I had often heard talk of ‘praying through’, of sticking with a prayer until you got an answer. So, I determined that I was going to try it. One Sunday afternoon in September, 1952, I went out to the polders where I could pray aloud without being embarrassed. I sat on the edge of a canal and began talking to God casually, as I might have talked to a friend. I prayed through coffee and cigar hour, right through Sunday afternoon, and on into the evening. Still I had not reached a point where I knew I had found God’s plan for my life.
“What is it, Lord? What am I holding back? What am I using as an excuse for not serving You in whatever You want me to do?”
And then, there by the canal, I finally had my answer. My “yes” to God had always been a “yes, but.” Yes, but I’m not educated. Yes, but I’m lame.”
“Yes, but…”
When God asks us to do something, most of us know better than to say “no” and yet we don’t exactly say “yes” either. We hesitate, we procrastinate, we agree on certain terms.
Like Brother Andrew, our “yes” is accompanied by a “but”. I will be a missionary, but I’m not going to do twelve years of schooling. I will be a missionary, but I need to have financial support. I will ask for forgiveness, but they have to ask me for forgiveness first. I will tell that person about the gospel, but only if they approach me.
Is this obedience?
Does Obedience Leave Room for Hesitation?
In Legally Bound, we learned how we are legally required to obey God. God gave us the responsibility to say “yes” to Him in whatever He asks us to do. In correlation to this He gave us a promise – He committed to provide us with everything that we would need to obey.
This promise, however, was not meant to be an excuse for our delayed obedience. Obedience is not to be put off while we stand around, waiting to see if God is going to come through with His promise. Yet so often that is just how we respond to God’s requests.
It is the same attitude we see when children are trading trinkets and they begin argue about who should be the first give their item to the other. Eventually, they agree to both hand over their treasures at the same time. This type of behaviour stems from a lack of trust. Neither party wants to give up what they have until they are sure they will get what the other has promised in exchange.
When we say “yes, but” to God we are essentially saying the same. We will only give what is required of us – obedience – after we have what God has promised us – provision. We don’t want to be the one who goes first in this deal, because we aren’t willing to trust God to follow through on His end. Or we don’t trust He will do so in the way that we want Him to; in a way we are comfortable with.
This lack of trust is the exact opposite of the faith that God has asked us to have in our dealings with Him.
A Call For Instant Obedience
God always supplies what is needed for His people to obey Him. He always comes through. But rarely does He show us His provision ahead of time. He never promises it will come in the way we want or expect it to. Rather He asks us to obey instantly – even before we’ve seen His provision. To do our part in faith, trusting that He is faithful.
“To another He said, “Follow me.” But he said, “Lord, let me first go and bury my father.”And Jesus said to him, “Leave the dead to bury their own dead. But as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” Yet another said, “I will follow you, Lord, but let me first say farewell to those at my home.” Jesus said to him, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.” (Luke ix. 59 – 62, ESV)
Jesus was calling for followers, for men who would say “yes” to Him. Jesus told those He called that there was no place for a “yes, but” in the kingdom of God. No space to give qualification to your obedience. To do so is just as bad as saying “no”.
“The Step of Yes”
“With my next breath, I did say “yes”. I said it in a brand new way without qualification. “I’ll go, Lord,” I said, “no matter what, whether it is through the route of ordination, or through the WEC program, or through working at Ringers. Whenever, wherever, however you want me, I’ll go. And I’ll begin this very minute. Lord, as I stand up from this place, and as I take my first step forward, will you consider that this is a step of obedience to You? I’ll call it the step of yes.”
Obedience to God isn’t optional. It is meant to be instinctive. We shouldn’t have to decide if we will say “yes” to God, it should be a predetermined decision.
A choice we’ve made long before He asks us to obey. We should be able to say “yes” before we even know what He is asking because we know that God will only ask us to do that which we should do and He will also supply us with the means to do it. Simply saying “yes”, without qualification, gives opportunity for God to be God.
This was a step of faith for Andrew, a step of obedience, a “step of yes” and he was about to discover what God intended to do with it. He had learned the first rule in a game that he didn’t yet realise that he was playing. Now it was God’s turn.
In Christ
Quiana
*All quotes and excerpts were taken from Brother Andrew’s book, God’s Smuggler.
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