Part three in series of musings on the book of Esther.
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” (Ephesians vi.1)
Such a small and simple statement. A command that I have read again and again. But do I believe it to be true? Do I obey it?
Our society believes in increasing measure that punishing children is wrong – that correcting them is unkind.
In our culture disobedience and disrespect are commonplace and even expected in the home and I realize I too have unwittingly accepted something less than that which God described as ‘right’. I have made excuses and adopted justifications He never gave.
So how does my, and our, thinking need to change in this area to come into alignment with God’s?
Well, the first thing God placed His finger on in my life was a couple of excuses.
Excuse #1: No Longer a Child
Using the first word in the verse I could justify myself in disregarding the rest of it. For Ephesian vi.1 says “children”.
I agree that children should obey their parents, but I’m an adult. At eighteen I became free to make my own decisions.
I still listen to the counsel of my parents, but often view it as suggestions instead of commands I am bound to obey. I’m an adult and adults have to make certain decisions for themselves.
Well, to my surprise, I found out that the Greek word Teknon that is translated to children in Ephesians vi.1 and other verses like it, doesn’t specify parameters of age. The description of children here isn’t those under eighteen, twenty-one, or twenty-five. Rather the word Teknon generally means “offspring, descendants, dependants, or those who have been nurtured and moulded by wisdom.”
In addition to a new definition for the word children, I found that my excuse was also undermined by the example of Esther.
“Now Esther had not revealed her family and her people, just as Mordecai had charged her, for Esther obeyed the command of Mordecai as when she was brought up by him.” (Esther ii. 20)
Esther was a full-grown woman and, at this point, a married woman and even the queen. Yet she obeyed Mordecai “as when she was brought up by him” or as when she was a child.
Esther obeyed Mordecai willingly – she was no longer under his roof or in his presence; there was no way that Mordecai could make her obey him or punish her if she did not. But still she obeyed. Why?
Because it was right.
Excuse #2: The Percentage Principal
What qualifies as obedience?
I obey my parents in most things. In the big things. In the important things. I obey ninety-five percent of the time. Surely, that means I am obedient.
There have been just a few times when I have felt like I needed to decide something for myself. Or when I have disagreed with what I was told to do. These don’t count. Do they?
What does God expect of me? What is good enough for Him?
“Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord.” (Colossians iii.20)
As I read this verse, two words immediately stood out. Two, little words that added a whole lot of emphasis and clarity to the command. Two, little words that completely tore away my justification and brought a search light upon my motivation.
Those words were all and well. “Children, obey your parents in all things.” All is a very simple and very clear word. In this context it clearly and simply declared that there were no exceptions, no suggestions, and no “good enough”. God expects me to obey all the time and in everything.
Then there was well. “For this is well pleasing to the Lord.” Another small and simple word. Which simply told me when I obey my parents it pleases Him. My reason for obeying needed to change from an attempt to be “good enough” into a desire to please God. When that was my reason for obeying, no reason to disobey could be greater.
The Consequence of the Disobedient Son
God’s standard for obedience is in all things and this pleases Him. Alternately, when we are disobedient it displeases Him.
In both Romans i.30 and 2 Timothy iii.2 we find disobedience to parents included in lists of sins – sins which Paul says in Romans i.28 are symptoms of a debased mind and are not fitting.
In addition to these New Testament references, we find clear commands in the Old Testament of how such behaviour was to be dealt with. For example, we read in Exodus xxi.17 that “he who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death.”
This is a rather shocking punishment especially in the context of our culture as it gradually moves towards outlawing physical discipline of any kind.
If we define the word for curse, Qalal in the Hebrew, it makes an even stronger statement. Qalal means “to treat with contempt, to dishonour, to slight, to lightly esteem, or to treat as being of little account.” Thus, we could say that he who treats his father or his mother with contempt shall surely be put to death.
These behaviours are commonplace in our society and in many of our lives. But despite the fact that we have come to deem these responses as normal, God deems those who are guilty of them to be worthy of death.
The God given consequence for disobeying and disrespecting parents is pretty hard to swallow. But then, the God given consequence for disobeying in general is hard to swallow. We are worthy of death not only because we have shown disrespect to our parents, but because of every way we have disrespected and disobeyed God.
The Reward of the Obedient Son
In contrast to the punishment of disobedience we find in Exodus xx.12 that there is a reward for those who are obedient:
“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.”
A similar promise is repeated in Proverbs iii.1-2, “My son, do not forget my law, but let your heart keep my commands; for length of days and long life and peace they will add to you.”
There is only one son who has ever kept the law of honouring father and mother. Who has obeyed in all things and proven well pleasing to the Lord. Whose heart has kept his father’s commands – that is Jesus Christ.
We have been disobedient, Jesus was obedient and received the reward. His days will be everlasting. He has a peace that transcends all understanding.
The good news is, He has chosen to share both His peace and His length of days with us!
“ My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline or be weary of his reproof, for the Lord reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights.” (Proverbs iii.11-12)
“If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons. Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness. Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterwards it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” (Hebrews xii. 5-11)
In Christ
Quiana
*Scripture references in NKJV unless otherwise noted.