John Bunyan’s Second Wife – The Motives of a Servant’s Heart

Elizabeth looked up from her sewing just in time to see John poke his stick into the open fire. She jumped up and grabbed the transgressor’s hand.

“That’s it! If I catch you playing in the fire once more I’ll have to spank you!”


 John looked up at her with wide eyes; it was the first time that he had heard her yell. Thomas started crying in his crib; apparently, she had frightened him too. 


Elizabeth sighed and knelt down beside the two and a half year old. “I’m sorry for loosing my temper, John. You must listen to what I tell you the first time I say it. Do you understand?” 


The little boy nodded and reached to wipe a tear from her eye. She hadn’t even realised that she was crying.

“I’m sorry, Mama.”

She smiled, how sweet it was to hear him call her that. The thought was accompanied by a sad sigh. She would never get to hear her baby say it. 


In a moment, she forced the thought from her mind. These are my babies! She reminded herself as she picked up little Tom. 


With the toddler balanced on her hip. she began to gather the dishes that were scattered about the kitchen. As she placed them in the sink, she looked out the window and saw the two girls marching up the path that led towards the house. 


She couldn’t help but laugh at Sarah. The four year old was a willing guide but not a very patient one – poor Mary had to hurry to keep up with her. 

“Miss Elizabeth! Miss Elizabeth!” 


Whenever Sarah was excited she called her ‘Miss Elizabeth’ instead of ‘Mama’. It was an innocent mistake and Elizabeth didn’t see a need to correct it; feeling sure that time would cure the habit.

“What is it?”

“Daddy’s writing a story! It’s about a Pi-g-lum!”

“A what?”

“It’s a pilgrim, Sarah.” Mary corrected. “A pilgrim is a Christian who is travelling. Isn’t he, Mama?”

“Yes, dear, I suppose that’s right.”

“Daddy’s going to write about giants, a dragon, a beautiful city, and…and…” 


Elizabeth laughed. “Slow down, Love! You can tell me all about it after you’ve had your dinner.” 


The girls sat down at the table and Elizabeth began to dish soup from the pot that she had been keeping warm on the stove.

   Wiping sweat from her forehead, she picked up the bowls. The room seemed to sway back and forth.


 Elizabeth reached for the counter and spilled one of the bowls in the process. Really, Elizabeth! She thought, Mary gets around better than you! She leaned against the cupboards until the dizziness cleared. 


In few moments, her head had cleared enough for her to refill Sarah’s dish. 


As the girls were eating she knelt to wash the floor, continuing to scold herself as she did. We can hardly afford to waste precious food. 


This was not the first meal she had spilled. The baby had been lost almost four months ago and still she felt weak. She was beginning to wonder if she should go to see the doctor, but they couldn’t afford that either.

“Thank you both for walking that food down to the jail.” Elizabeth said as she got up from the floor.

“You’re welcome.” 


Mary’s brow furrowed. “Who thanks you, Mama?”

“What do you mean?”

“You thank us for the good things we do and we thank God for the good things He does, but who thanks you when you do something good?”

Elizabeth laughed and kissed the girl’s head. Apparently Mary had taken notice of her mood too. 


God loves a cheerful giver. 
The verse came to her recollection – not in the chiding tones with which she corrected herself but in the soft voice of conviction. 

“No one does right now, dear Mary, but I don’t need any thanks. One day, our heavenly Father will reward us all.” Her words came as a lesson to her own ears and she determined that she would not entertain self pity any longer. 

  Later that evening, Elizabeth gathered all the children around the table to pray. Thomas sat on her lap, playing with the long brown strands of her hair. John squinted through half shut eyes, trying to make sure that everyone else was really praying. The girls bowed their heads dutifully, each holding one of Elizabeth’s hands. 


The young mother prayed aloud. She thanked God that Baby Tom was learning to walk; that John had shared his toys with his little brother; that Sarah was such a good helper; that Mary was so thoughtful and patient with them all; that their Daddy was able to write books, preaching the gospel even in prison. 


When she finished, Mary squeezed her hand.

“You didn’t thank God for the things that He strengthened you to do. First Thessalonians five says in everything we are to give thanks.” 


Elizabeth looked at Mary in amazement. The nine year old was right. God had remained faithful even in her weakness and while she could forgo thanks, she must not forget to thank Him. To thank Him for all that He strengthened her to do.

Introducing the Bunyans

  In the mid- 1600s a man named John Bunyan lived in the town of Elstow, in Bedfordshire, England. His profession was that of a tinker, but in addition to this he frequently served as a Puritan lay preacher. It was the latter work which resulted in his spending twelve long years in prison. There he wrote several books including the famous Christian allegory, The Pilgrim’s Progress.

  Elizabeth became Bunyan’s second wife when she was just eighteen years old. Taking on not only the role of wife but also that of mother to four young children – Mary, Sarah, John, and Thomas. 


John was arrested for preaching without a licence just a year after they were married and at that time Elizabeth was several months pregnant with her first child. She had heard many rumours of the terrible things inflicted upon the non- conformists who had fallen into the hand of the authorities. Thus, when news of her husband’s arrest reached her she became so distressed that she went into premature labour. Eight days later, she delivered a small child who soon passed away. 


While still grieving her loss, Elizabeth had to set out for London to appeal John’s conviction. A simple, country girl, she bravely petitioned at the House of Lords. But after several unsuccessful appeals she was forced to give up and returned to Elstow. 


Arriving home, Elizabeth could easily have settled into grief and self pity – her situation surely warranted it. Instead, Elizabeth threw herself wholeheartedly into the task of caring for the house, the children and even John himself who they regularly visited and brought meals to at the nearby prison. 


As Mary said, the job was a thankless one, but Elizabeth strove to do her best at it. In the House of Lords and in the little cottage alike, Elizabeth Bunyan served her family well. 


Serving Well


Very few people know how to serve well. Most of us assume that serving well is the same as serving willingly. God does indeed tell us that He loves a joyful giver (2 Corinthians ix. 7) but serving well goes beyond serving willingly. 


In the familiar story of Martha and Mary (Luke x. 38 -42), Martha made herself busy about serving Jesus and yet it was not Martha whom Jesus said had chosen the better part. In all her hard work and diligence, Martha had missed something and so have many of us. 


To discover what it is to serve well we need to find out what it was that Martha was lacking, what it was that Elizabeth Bunyan was constantly striving to practice.

  The difference between serving willingly and serving well comes down to motive. Usually we serve others in order to get something for ourselves. We serve to be seen or to gain the praise of others. We serve because it makes us feel good about ourselves. Or we do it in an attempt to earn God’s approval. 


These motivations are all selfish. While we continue to employ them, we will never be able to serve well. 


God desires us to be moved by something altogether different. He has given us two good reasons which can motivate us to serve in the place of selfish ones.   

Reason 1 – He First Served Us. 


“You call Me Teacher and Lord, and you say well, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet.For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you.” (John xiii. 13-15, NKJV)


Earlier in John xiii. we find that Peter didn’t want Jesus to wash his feet at first. The reason for this being that it was the job of those who were beneath to serve those of higher rank. Thus, it was definitely not the job of his Lord to wash his feet! Jesus said to him, “If I do not wash you, you have no part with Me.” 


Peter was reasoning from the world’s system – the lowly serve those who are higher in position- but Jesus wanted to show us a different pattern. In washing the disciple’s feet, He demonstrated that those who have authority should willingly serve those they are over*. This is the very message of the gospel itself – God Most High came willingly to serve and to save those who were beneath Him. The command to do as He had done was to all who would call Him Lord and Teacher.


(*You can read more on this topic in The Heavenly Order)

Reason 2 – Out of Love

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John xiii. 35, NIV)

 The love we are to have for one another comes as a result of the love that Christ had for us. 


Love which is not merely an emotion but a choice. A choice that requires action. 

“By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.But whoever has this world’s goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him? My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.” (1 John iii.16-18, NKJV)

We are called to be generous, to make disciples, to fight injustice and to care for one another. All of these could be categorised as demonstrations of love. 

Cultivating a Servant’s Heart 

  The motive of the true servant’s heart is therefore twofold. It comes firstly from God’s love for us, which showed us what true service really was, and secondly from the love He gives us for one another.


 Service should not come out of selfish ambition or a desire to be rewarded. 


To begin to serve well we must first forget ourselves. God Himself will reward any good deeds we do (Matthew vi. 1-5) but we should remember that it is He, and not us, who is truly worthy of a reward.

 “Which of you, having a servant plowing or tending sheep, will say to him when he has come in from the field, ‘Come at once and sit down to eat’?But will he not rather say to him, ‘Prepare something for my supper, and gird yourself and serve me till I have eaten and drunk, and afterward you will eat and drink’?Does he thank that servant because he did the things that were commanded him? I think not.So, likewise, you, when you have done all those things which you are commanded, say, ‘We are unprofitable servants. We have done what was our duty to do.’” (Luke xvii. 7-10, NKJV)

 The example of Jesus causes every excuse we have to not serve well to fall away. For when service comes as an inconvenience, we can ask ourselves if it was convenient for the Son of God to leave heaven to rescue us. When we receive no thanks for what we do, we take it as a fresh reminder to thank Him for all that He did for us. If a task brings us no praise, we can rejoice in the surety that God will be glorified by it all the more. When those we serve are not worthy of our efforts, we remember that we were not worthy of His.

In this way the servant’s heart will ever be motivated – motivated by Love Himself.

In Christ

Quiana


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